


We're Swallowing Light

by Angel_Bazethiel



Series: we will build our own forever [3]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Gen, If you're sad too then this one's for you ヽ(￣ω￣(。。 )ゝ, Post-Wedding, The Author is having the blues so they try to give themselves a pep talk through a fic, Weddings, everyone deserves to be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:01:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26171623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_Bazethiel/pseuds/Angel_Bazethiel
Summary: A celebration of a kingdom come.
Relationships: Rebecca Catalina & Riza Hawkeye, Riza Hawkeye & Team Mustang, Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang, Roy Mustang & Team Mustang
Series: we will build our own forever [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1870018
Comments: 14
Kudos: 45





	We're Swallowing Light

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. So. If you've read pt1, then you know that this series started bc I wanted to write a wedding fic. In the end, I didn't write one. This is more like a reception fic. LMAO. I just... it felt like Roy has said everything he can say to Riza in pt2. And while this can be read as a stand-alone, I don't like being redundant.
> 
> Also me: there will (YET AGAIN!) be something said about happiness and love. I suppose this series does need a unifying theme. And I guess it's "What Do Roy and Riza Deserve?" There's no turning back now. Enjoy :D
> 
> Inspired by the songs [Taste](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQ8BDkV1OWs) and [Light](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bk69DmpCYrw) by Sleeping At Last.
> 
> PS. There will be a long note in the end. Just warning you beforehand.

_I am alive. I am awake. I am aware of what light tastes like.  
The curtains drawn, the table’s set. I want to be. I want to be at my best._

\--

“Let’s get married,” Roy calls to the other side of the room the moment his last box is taped and labeled.

Riza, who was packing the kitchen wares, raises an eyebrow and she approaches him. “Last time I checked, sir, we _are_.” Then she puts her hands on the sides of his face. Her thumbs softly brush the skin under his eyes. She studies him with such intensity that it makes him warm all over. “Did you trip on a box and hit your head again?”

“ _No_.” Of course, she’d think that. Why does his stupid mouth love to blurt out things without context? “I meant—” he gulps and smacks his lips. “Let’s get married _today_.”

“We’ve waited for over thirteen months, what’s one more?” She tilts her head and furrows her brows. Roy takes this as a good sign. At least, she doesn’t look opposed to the idea; just confused.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. We’ve waited for so long. I don’t think I can stand one more day of not being married to you.”

Riza touches her lips with a curled index finger as she considers it. “Today _does_ feel like a good day to be married.”

“Right? The Restoration Program is done and we’re handing management over to Major Miles. We’re going back to Eastern Command in a few days.” The blood fiercely coursing through his veins is electrifying. Roy grabs her hands, imagining that with their connection, the current flows to her. “It’s a new chapter in our lives. I want to start it by getting married to you.”

“The Führer won’t be happy,” she points out but doesn’t really sound like she cares that much.

He shares the sentiment and just shrugs. He should though, the old coot might court-martial him for this. “We can still do a second wedding. We can focus on other people then. I don’t think we could get any of our deposits back this late anyway. Today can be something that’s only _for us_.”

“You’re insane, sir.” She scoffs, which turns into a peal of disbelieving laughter.

Roy smirks and leans down to bump their noses together. “And you love me for it?”

Riza purses her lips and sighs through her nose. “Unfortunately, I do.”

\--

“Alright, alright,” Havoc says loudly from where he’s sitting on the floor.

Only he, Breda, Falman, Fuery, and Catalina were able to attend their small and brief ceremony. Granted, it was in such short notice. And they also thought that it’s better to keep it between close friends. That way, the Führer wouldn’t get wind of it. The old man would be _unbearable_ if he knew.

Then, they proceeded to the newly-wed couple’s shared apartment and have been drinking since. Roy and Riza are sharing a loveseat while Vato, Breda, and Rebecca sit on the long sofa. The two others are on the floor.

Laughter and conversations die down with Jean’s announcement. He gets off the floor and goes around the room to refill their cups. “It’s time for the toasts. It’s a bit late in the ‘reception’ but the bosses just sprung this on us this afternoon. No one has prepared a speech.” Jean points to Catalina, “Except for Becca. But she can’t use it. It’s only fair, sweetheart.”

“Fine, fine,” she pulls a mocking face, to which Havoc retaliates by sticking out his tongue. Rebecca waves her hand, offering the floor, “Well, go on. Little bitches go first.”

“Fuck you, too, Becca,” Jean sarcastically smiles as he comes to the space in front of them. “So since our great leader said that all the men are equally the best, we say we are _all_ the Best Mans.”

Said men cheer – well, in the case of poor pink-faced Fuery, is manhandled into cheering by Breda.

“And as the spokesperson of the Best Mans,” Jean continues, “I am here to deliver a toast that is from all of us.”

Roy feels small vibrations by his side. He turns to see Riza – _his wife_ , a thought that makes him lightheaded more than the alcohol – shaking in silent laughter. Like Kain, she is very much pink in the face and grinning widely. He’s sure that he’s just the same.

It’s been a long year and a half. It’s nice to just be among friends.

“Did you really say that to them?” She whispers.

“I can’t show any favoritism,” he whispers back. “Let them have this.”

“But we both agree that Fuery is the best, right?”

Roy chuckles and Havoc clears his throat. “Of course,” he says out the corner of his mouth just as Jean pulls out a piece of paper.

“Here’s to the Colonel and Lieutenant – wait, the _General_ and _Captain_ – who apparently isn’t short of crazy ideas.” Everyone snickers and Roy rolls his eyes. In his opinion, all the best ideas are the crazy ones.

“They have led a coup, a rebuilding effort,” Jean says with so much vigor. “And now, they are leading us to a kingdom come. Wait— Before I go on, a bit of a disclaimer: no one here is an alchemist besides the boss but from what we gathered from the two of yous’ vows earlier, you like this analogy of the Red King and White Queen. So we’re using that, eh?” He points a finger-gun at the couple and clicks his tongue.

“Nigredo, Albedo, Rubedo,” he starts. “The steps to achieving perfection. Something that the Red King and White Queen strive for in every moment of their lives. Something that has inspired their subjects to strive for as well.”

Roy looks around the room to check if they really believe that. Vato nods to every word, Kain has both fists clenched and raised, and Heymans and Rebecca have proud smiles on their faces. All of them have fire in their eyes.

“They taught us that after hell, there _will be_ heaven. And we will come out the fires stronger, wiser, and worthy. We learned to never give up. No matter how hard it is to stand back up, we keep moving forward.”

Roy remembers a time when Havoc got paralyzed from the waist down. He was so sure about quitting then. But Roy insisted that he will see him at the top. He smiles. He’s glad that Jean managed to catch up. He’s glad that he’s still fighting. He’s glad that everyone here is still fighting.

His vision blurs and he feels wetness on his cheeks. His wife – _his wife!_ – wipes his tears, her eyes shiny themselves. He plants a kiss on her palm before turning back to Jean.

“Of course, we haven’t in the _slightest_ reached perfection. Maybe we never will. But the way we work on ourselves, and the way these two aim for the top – for a place where everyone can live in happiness – is something so stupid yet so beautiful.” He raises his cup. “Here’s to our King and Queen. To Roy and Riza.”

“To Roy and Riza!” They echo and down their drinks.

Roy pulls Riza’s head onto his shoulder so he can lean his on top of it. He lets out an exaggerated sigh as he blinks away the remaining tears in his eyes. “We raised them so well.”

Riza snorts, “I did most of the work, sir.”

“Of course, of course.”

Jean goes around again to refill their cups. When he reaches the couple, Roy stands and offers his hand. They clasp each other’s forearms. It doesn’t feel enough, so he pulls Havoc into a hug.

Roy sees Riza stand up as well so, with a pat on the back, he releases Jean. Riza replaces him and kisses Havoc on the cheek. They briefly share a smile before he moves on to refilling Breda’s glass and sitting back down.

“ _Man,_ ” Catalina moves to stand to where Jean was, a hand on her hip and shaking her head. “That speech is really going to be hard to follow up on.” She looks at Riza and him, “You guys do know that this is really unfair. I’m only one of me and there's four of them.”

Rebecca turns to look at the men with a mischievous smirk. “But I suppose a woman’s mind _is_ equivalent to four of men’s. Although, I think that the only contributors to that piece are human-encyclopedia Falman and soft-boy Fuery. Breda and Havoc did shit.”

“Fuck off, Becca.” Jean throws a crumpled paper towel. It barely reaches her, it just plops down near her feet.

“Anyway. So. I might be a little drunk and I can’t use my speech for next month, which I totally agree by the way. I don’t think y’all ready for it yet.” She clicks her tongue and sighs. “Okay, so I’m just going to riff, shall I?”

Catalina swirls her drink for a bit, periodically tapping on the glass. She takes a deep breath. “With all this talk about being broken down to be built back up as something better reminds me of something that someone once told me. I’m not going to give out names but let’s give her the codename: My Best Friend.”

Roy turns to Riza and raises an eyebrow. She gives no indication that she knows where this is going. He figures it doesn’t matter anyway. He gives Catalina his full attention but not before wrapping his wife’s hand with his.

“Now My Best Friend and I were out drinking one night and we were talking about boys and shit. I can’t remember what prompted it but she goes on saying, ‘Broken people don’t get to ask to be loved.’ And I was _floored_.”

Riza exhales sharply. Roy runs his thumb over her knuckles before bringing the back of her hand to his lips. She gives him a sad smile.

He thinks back to the night he proposed. She said then that it doesn’t matter whether they deserve to be happy. And that it took her almost dying to think that and let herself just _be_.

They’ve wasted so much time debating with themselves whether or not they deserve anything more than pain and suffering; whether or not they deserve to love and be loved.

It was hard for Roy to see Riza deny herself time and time again. It must have been hard too for others that also love her.

“I had no answer to that,” Rebecca pulls him out of his thoughts, “and some part of me agreed with her. No one loves a broken thing.” She gives them a rueful smile. “But here’s the kicker, _everyone_ is broken – to varying extent, sure – heck, the fucking _world_ is broken. So does that mean that no one deserves to be loved?”

Catalina chuckles when silence falls. “I didn’t give her an answer that night. I never have. But I have thought about it. And it never came up again, so I had no reason to tell her my response. Now I’m telling you all instead and you better listen up closely.

“She was right. You don’t get to ask to be loved because that’s egoistic and doesn’t take into account other people’s actual agency.”

She brings her shoulders up to her ears. “We are only human: stupid and beautiful – yes, I’m taking those for my own speech. And how do we love? _Very_ stupidly.” Then she adds in a softer voice, “And very beautifully.

“We want to make the world a better place because despite how many times it hurt us, we still love it. Without it asking us to.” Catalina tilts her head and gestures to the men. “We support the people around us, become better people for them, and urge them to do the same because despite their flaws – their _brokenness_ – we still love them without them asking.

“And you know what?” Her smile becomes determined and hopeful. “There’s someone out there that is also just as stupid and as beautiful that would also go against odds and logic and will love us – _has loved us_ – without us asking.

“I wish…” Rebecca throws her head back slightly and huffs. “I wish I’ve told My Best Friend then, ‘You are loved more than you could ever know. You didn’t have to ask for it.’

“And seeing everyone here – seeing Ri and General Matchstick _finally_ here,” she sniffs and the tears that were pooling on her eyes start to fall. “I can say that without a single doubt in mind. I mean, what says _love_ more than choosing you over sleeping on a work night.” Rebecca lets out a wet laugh and raises her glass. “To Riza and Roy’s stupid and beautiful love.”

“To love!” Everyone says except for Riza, who breaks away from Roy’s hold and stands up. In three forceful strides, she throws herself at Rebecca and hugs her tight, their bodies wracked with sobs that fill the room.

Roy sees everyone else crying as well. Havoc gets up and hugs the two ladies. Bawling, Fuery crashes into them. Breda and Falman wipe their snots before joining in too.

His heart grows heavy. This time, not with hate or guilt but with the overwhelming kindness and loyalty that these people have shown him. He staggers to the group and grabs as much of them as he can – _holds them as close as he can._

 _This_ is their kingdom come, their ever after, their forever. However long it will last, it will be this: filled with support and love. And he can’t wait to see what follows.

**Author's Note:**

> Let's do a bit of a recap (bc I want to and maybe it will entice those who haven't read the past works). In pt1, we had Compatibilism and Virtue Ethics saying that Roy and Riza are good people, just with really shitty moral luck. _They deserve to be forgiven (esp. by themselves) and to let themselves be happy._
> 
> In pt2, we had a bit of Moral Nihilism. It doesn't matter if they do deserve to be happy because it is neither ethical nor unethical to be happy. So Riza said just do whichever (be happy or not) that keeps them going and growing. _After all, they deserve to heal and grow. If being happy helps, then okay._
> 
> And finally, _they deserve to love and be loved._ Everyone is. It's part of being human. It's one of my earliest philosophies. And it's not backed by the big leagues but rather by three consecutive shots of vodka and being emo over [this quote](https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/8211762-may-we-all-be-human-beautiful-stupid-temporal-endless-and) from [WTNV](http://www.welcometonightvale.com/). It's stupid and very naive. BUT I like believing it. Especially on days when I'm sad. It helps me think that I am loved and is allowed of that love even if some part of me really wants to believe otherwise.
> 
> Fun Fact: All of that 👆 applies to you too. Be kinder to yourself. Forgive yourself for the stupid things you did, esp. in situations beyond your control. Allow yourself to fully heal and healthily grow. Let yourself be human. Be stupid. Be beautiful. Love and be loved.
> 
> Thank you for reading this series. It's been a pleasure. Take care, guys.


End file.
